How do we handle conflict here?

[MTemp]

Hey Frank,

Great question and one I've mulled over a lot since my transition from Corporate Shite-talker to ROFWTOMH (Retired Old Fart With Time On My Hands). One consequence is I spend a lot more time on fora like this one as they fuel my interest in my pastimes and are a great source of expertise and education. They all suffer one great malaise....

Opinionated assertion purporting as fact. ( I refer you to our heated but I think interesting exchange on Climate Change down here in this Offus Topicus underworld)

If all you want to do is trade un-researched opinionated shite that you read in some rag or heard from a bloke in the bar then ..... do it in the bar. Best thing is you'll have forgotten most by the morning anyway.

If however you are really interested in being informed, or informing, with some humour and self-depreciation, and a little care to check out the basis for what you say ..... then I say, have at it, however non-PC the topic might be. One of the Corporate shite-talk aspirations we had in a company I worked for was the promotion of 'Generative Discussions' ..... roughly translated as discussions where you came out of it with new information, new perspectives and possibly even a change in opinion on a topic. A sort of 'I never thought of it like that before' moment. Means you have to be prepared to change your mind, and eat quite a bit of humble pie, though.

If you're still reading this Frank .... then I'd like to say that I tend to open a topic that has you as the creator or contributor because I know I'm more likely to find a 'generative discussion', technical or otherwise. Ed Mayo and 304065 (among others) are in that camp too. Yours are just on average more amusing than theirs!

So I say let these 'hot' topics continue, but if they degenerate into 'I know, therefore I say, therefore it's so' with no ability to provide sound basis when challenged then at least have them with a like-minded mate in bar and save the rest of us some quality pi$$-taking time on here.

Love and kisses

Mick

Oh, and I assert you probably wouldn't have won the War of Independence without De Grasse and his French fleet .......

[Frank Beck]

Love this topic as it forces one to get away from the ultimately, superficial drivel of cars. I know, I know, I hear it all the time: "if I want to talk about important things I'll go to my Rabbi, or Pastor, or life coach, or cube-mate. And if I want a shrink, I'll talk to my wife. I'm here to talk cars." Fine; plenty of threads to parse Porsche minutia on.

I find that most men are absolutely horrible at communicating deep thoughts, emotions, and are unwilling to express a weak side, blind side, or any "other" side (If you want to wear a silk man-thong under your power suit that's your business but if you're a dude please don't share that with us... unless you include pics.) It is pride that gets in the way and with our current culture's propensity to manufacture a synthetic online persona, we con ourselves into believing we are who we think we are instead of who we really are. The result is predictable; bloviated pomposity that bears no resemblance to humility or teach-ability. As Mick the very knowledgeable man-caused Climate Change Kool-Aid drinker alludes to (please don't take that that the wrong way; I greatly appreciate your misguided thoughts!), a respectful discussion is the order of the day. For me, humble pie is one of the major food groups and proof of this is that I can say to my wife "Yes, I was wrong" without stuttering or sweating.

When one takes themselves too seriously and reads something they vehemently disagree with the far too typical response is one of veiled anger (or NOT so veiled!). This prevailing attitude of intolerance and being easily offended does nothing to promote strong debate and develop deeper relationships. I hope we can always agree to disagree with respect, care, and above all else, humor. At the end of the day we should always be willing to shake hands or have a beer with those we disagree with. Contrary to what the thin-skinned, easily offended types would have you believe, hearty, passionate debate should be something we thirst for.

This conversation also reminds me that we all come here for different reasons. Not all are true enthusiasts. Some are here to simply sell cars. We should take this with a grain of salt and be willing to accept them as part of this community.

[MTemp]

I can say to my wife "Yes, I was wrong" without stuttering or sweating.

Agree Frank, and when she can say it back you know you've cornered a good'un and a true 'Generative Relationship' will follow

[Frank Beck]

Mick,

I DO LOVE the term "generative relationship". Mirrored against "degenerative" it's brilliant.

I'm amazed at how some people are satisfied with status quo when it comes to relationships. I've been married for almost 22 years and have never loved my wife more than I do today.

[grantree]

heres my take - this hobby, and particularly this board (though no criticism inferred, just to clarify) is pretty culturally conformist by nature.


the objective seems to be either a) how do i get this thing correct (i.e back to factory spec) no room for deviation- maybe hyrdraulic tensioners if you end up finding yourself inclined to drive the car - or b) how do i modify it so as to still be recognised and welcomed as part of the gang, with slice of 'uniqueness' just to differentiate myself, but still in the spirit of the group. Either way, ploughing the same furrow. I dont think this is unique to porsche cars fwiw.

which is why i think when someone takes an individual position, view etc it is can be construed negatively, it is counter cultural and not what the folks have come, and paid, to see.

this of course could be bull, it is anecdotal analysis and i have literally no data points to back me up. not beating a hasty retreat, interested to see what you guys think. Nevertheless, i think it would be worthy of study, cars and personal identities are pretty interesting, how people pick a marque / group and then subscribe to that. just need to find someone who has the right sort of quali's to take it on, lib arts, time on their hands......

[Frank Beck]

I know one thing that separates this forum from others:


Punctuation, grammar, and spelling.




Lol.

Sorry, couldn't resist.
Good points.

[grantree]

Punctuation, grammar, and spelling.

way too conformist frank. It all about outlaw linguistics.

Made me laugh actually, given the context.......pre - writing that post, i was revising my italian grammer for my evening class. Probably should start with improving me mothar tonge!

[37yrold911]

I thought it was all about linguistics with patina?

[Frank Beck]

I hear ya grantree; I'm a huge fan of outlaw linguini myself.
Especially the Clint Eastwood ones.

[Frank Beck]

After a slight tussle the other day on a tiny nut thread I decided to dredge this up.

A good reminder that conflict is a normal byproduct in a community.