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Thread: Divorce attorneys are the enemy

  1. #1
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    Divorce attorneys are the enemy

    It seems to me FAR too many guys end up losing half their stuff because they didn't pay as much attention to their wife as they did their stuff. Not pointing all of the blame of course but typically it's the guy who is most responsible.

    As a dedicated and certified amateur in armchair marriage counseling I thought it wise to have a loading dock where men (and woman) can share pearls of wisdom, stories, and unsolicited advice. In other words: Keys to a happy marriage. What better subject to encourage one another in so we can promote and prolong our hobby?

    Most of us have married up but sometimes it's easy to forget that. A successful marriage is supposed to get better over time, not worse. But this takes lots of investing.
    Here are a few freebies:


    Avoid using the phrase "It's just one more car."

    Never, EVER use the word "beautiful" to describe a car or thing without also incorporating into your language when describing your wife. This is a freshman mistake that many men never learn.

    Give one another permission to say "Honey, you're getting a little fat. Maybe it's time to stay off the fries?"

    Don't just accept your in-laws, learn to love them by inviting them along for a "ride" in your car. They will never ask to go anywhere with you again as long as you're driving.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Beck View Post
    Don't just accept your in-laws, learn to love them by inviting them along for a "ride" in your car. They will never ask to go anywhere with you again as long as you're driving.
    This works. I have been a recipient.
    Early S Registry #235
    rgruppe #111

  3. #3
    Senior Member uai's Avatar
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    Get a wife that loves Cars....

  4. #4
    Senior Member NZVW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Beck View Post

    Never, EVER use the word "beautiful" to describe a car or thing without also incorporating into your language when describing your wife.
    This is a great thread topic and one that a healthy forum as we have should include.
    Being a subject that as men we often sweep under an ever increasing bulging rug it is refreshing to see it have its rightful place here amongst us.

    Personally, up until mid last year I have been single for 10 years, not because of divorce, infidelity or the like but due to the unfortunate circumstances of tragedy.

    That changed when travelling overseas when I met a wonderful woman who seemed vaguely familiar. As it turned out she lived in my neighbourhood and was also single due to loss.

    We arranged to meet once back home and I picked her up to take out for a casual evening.

    "What a beautiful car" was one of Rebecca's first comments to which I replied, "car's are good looking, women are beautiful". We have been inseparable since and I am purely 'over the moon'.

    When I was single it was easy if not almost natural to treat my cars as 'loved ones'. Unhealthy??? I believes that depends on a persons situation.

    The pleasure we get from our vehicles is obvious but to enjoy them with loved ones is so much more.

    Our cars are just steel, glass, rubber and replaceable bits of matter, they have a place in our lives for sure but.... looking back on my own personal situation they were a surrogate for what I had missing in my life.

    It is just a pure delight to now have someone I love who was not until we met ever really interested in older cars, motorsport or the like but has now seen the "light" and is happy to drive anywhere for any length of time just to cruise or attend a track meet,, albeit sometimes with her knitting which she manages to even do when bumping down the road in the 911.

    Look after and love your wife, same goes for all the family, in-laws and all,, our car's are replaceable.

    Our loved one's are not.
    Mark

  5. #5
    Senior Member setho's Avatar
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    My wife hates when I say this, but it's the advice I give younger people.

    Treat marriage like a prison sentence, life without parole.

    When you know it's for life, and divorce isn't an option, you find ways of making things work. If divorce is an option in your mind, don't get married.

    (Although there are a few instances where it's okay - infidelity, abuse, etc.)
    Seth O.

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by setho View Post

    "Treat marriage like a prison sentence, life without parole."

    "If divorce is an option in your mind, don't get married."
    Ha!
    Wouldn't word it that way but totally agree.

  7. #7
    Senior Member uptheorg's Avatar
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    Somebody once gave me BAD advice and I am going to repeat it here as a cautionary tale.

    I emphasize that this is BAD advice: "It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission".

    To try this one out, I bought an "extra" sports car without telling my wife about it beforehand, let alone without asking for permission. This was two years ago and we have passed our thirtieth wedding anniversary in that time. Even though she "forgave" me, she actually has never forgiven me. She continues to trump me in almost any argument by reminding me about this one. Worst part is, I don't think she will ever give me permission to buy another car!
    Jim

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  8. #8
    Senior Member NZVW's Avatar
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    Eric's story reminded me of a marital development my parents had many years ago.
    My father was alway a "leadfoot" my mother was not. I mean NOT. To the point that dad bought her a new unbadged red Toyota MR2 back in the day and told her it was a ferrari and she believed him.
    Moving on, dad went through a BMW M3 stage starting with the E30 in black. A few years later he replaced it with a black E36 (without telling mum).
    Stupidly thinking that he was onto a great scheme he , in about 2004 he changed to a black E46. Silly move, the square edges were gone and mum finally clicked.
    Mum was pissed off, she didn't divorce my dad nor did she say a word.
    Dad just came home from work one night and there was a brand new Black VW GTI in the garage..
    Mark

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    I've been with my wife for 26 years. I was 20 and she was only 17, and still in high school.
    I actually find it hard to give others advice as I've been out of the game so long. I have several single friends, and it's easy to see why they're single.
    What I can say though is that my wife is my best friend. We know each other so well that we can actually finish each other's sentences. And we usually know what the other one is thinking.
    Probably one of our best traits is that we know what each other's limits are. When one of us freaks out the other one doesn't. It keeps things from going completely haywire.
    About six months back, an old female friend from high school got a hold of me through Facebook. She wanted to catch up on old times. I didn't hide anything from my wife, I told her all about it but I still should have told female #2 no. I thought everything was harmless and transparent, but I learned the hard way that Two Kitties in the litter box is one too many.
    The three of us went out for drinks and I could tell my wife was very unhappy. After we got home, she let me have it. I was sitting on the couch right in front of a large 4 by 8 window while she paced back and forth yelling at me, louder than I've ever heard her do. I didn't say a word. She then picks up my cell phone and from about 20 feet away throws it at me as hard as she could. The first thing that went through my mind was, oh no, there goes the window. She hit me right in the chest with it and all I could think was, "Wow, that was a great throw." I told female #2, we couldn't be in contact anymore and my wife and I are still going strong. But even my friends told me I was an idiot for thinking I could have a female friend. So just goes to show after 26 years , there are still things to learn.

  10. #10
    Senior Member majordad's Avatar
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    There’s a case here in Ireland today where a couple split up twenty years ago, she was awarded 75% of his pension. He went to court, she fought it and today got 80%. Problem is there is no money left to pay either of them, all used up in lawyers fees.

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