Some people should not work on cars (me!)

[Greg D.]

This is just for self deprecation and catharsis: here's my account of changing the oil on my 72 911T.

I've been spoiled and had a stacker lift for years, but we just moved X-country and now I do not have a lift nor the space to put one !!! The car is low enough that a standard catch pan that will take 10+ gallons in 3 seconds will NOT slide under the car without some jacking up, or with enough clearance for my hand to remove the oil plug... And my new driveway is *seriously* steep…

I thought I’d be clever: put ramps in the back on the flat portion and use the slope as a front ramp… Except that the driveway angle is such that.... the exhaust tip pushes one of the ramps away before I can climb it !!! I chased that one down a few times before figuring out that's what was happening ;-) Oops...

Then despite me having at least 5 new filters, 20 crush washers and more Classic Porsche spares than a dealership (easily done, that), I could not find a single washer due to the recent move !!! Fine, we'll reuse... And I eventually resorted to parking it halfway on the street and half on the slope, more or less horizontal but butt in the air, thinking I was clever…

That’s when I went for a peek under the car and (re)discovered this is a 1972 !!! The $%$% oil tank was relocated forward, in front of the rear wheel… Great for balance and originality, not so great for access since the tank was now directly over the sidewalk with even less clearance…

That meant that without a lift, the odds of sliding an oil pan under the correct spot (way forward of expected) were now iffy… I thought it would just about work, almost… Well, I was right with “almost"… Due to the typical gushing out of the 911 tank, at least 2 quarts rushed out too close to the lip of the pan and down my driveway !!! Gigantic mess… and that would have been worse if I hadn’t used my bare hand as a baffle to redirect the oil into the pan - thankfully the oil was only burning hot, not blisteringly so… The skin graft will look great anyway ;-)

After that comedy of errors, I refilled, and drained the pan to recycle, only to find a #$#$#% crush washer in the pan - Oh so that's where they were hiding, huh?… No idea if it's an old one, or one I forgot to put back on - I'd like to think I didn't forget but given the day I was having... engine sump or tank’s - now I've gotta wait for drips and do it again if I forgot ;-(

Bonus? I overfilled as usual, despite my best efforts not to - my excuse is this car doesn't have a front cooler and I am used to that.... at least I now have a pump to syphon the main tank because I ALWAYS overfill, I'm a giver, it's in my nature… Amusingly the syphoned stuff looked pretty black already, disappointingly so....

The kicker ? with my oil soaked hands, I dropped a wrench on the rear fender and chipped the paint in one tiny spot - it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't a perfect paint job before… Seriously, I should stop working on cars, period ! At least without the proper tools !

Money saved ? About $50. All negated by ruining 4 towels to contain the mess, buying driveway degreaser and spending an hour, scrubbing it, ordering a $26 Ivory paint chip kit to fill the small gouge, and probably a new pair of jeans too because I always work in my best clothes… Moral of the story: I either get a lift or let my mechanic do it next time ;-)

Go ahead, kick me while I'm down !
PS: My 912 was so much easier, but it doesn't sound as good.
PPS: I suppose I shouldn't complain, my friend just grenaded his 356 tranny, that won't buff out cheap...

[Harry998R]

Hi Greg,

No kicking from me, just sympathising.

Not only do we have the same car, it sounds like we have the same (lack of) mechanical skills.

I have the same, very messy, story to tell of a recent oil change. In future, for all of the hassle it provided, I will leave the oil changes to my mechanic. I will still attempt other jobs that don't pose the same risk of mess though.....

Cheers,

Harry.

[Skid]

Thanks Greg, that was a very amusing story. Don't think that I'm laughing at you. I think anyone that works on their own cars will know that we are laughing with you.

[Greg D.]

Thanks Greg, that was a very amusing story. Don't think that I'm laughing at you. I think anyone that works on their own cars will know that we are laughing with you.

Thanks :-) I'm usually not that ham fisted. It's just the impact of a move, difficult driveway, having not done an oil change on this one since it came off restoration...anyway those are my excuses. I'm really miffed at the fender chip. Oh well, I'll just have to drive it more now that it's "deflowered" :-)

[Frank Beck]

Well I'm laughing at you.

That was hilarious.

Trust me, even those of us in the biz have those stories. Except when the car is 6' off the floor the 140 degree oil makes a much bigger mess when the strainer plate abruptly falls and turns into a spigot.

[CidTito]

Very funny story. I believe, however, you are a lot more ahead than what any Porsche dealership would charge for an oil change.

[getz]

My car has a 72 oil tank and my Rhino ramps worked pretty well. A bit nerve racking backing the car up on them, but other than that smooth sailing. I weighed the oil I took out an put that same amount back in.

[Greg D.]

My car has a 72 oil tank and my Rhino ramps worked pretty well. A bit nerve racking backing the car up on them, but other than that smooth sailing. I weighed the oil I took out an put that same amount back in.

I have no doubts, but my driveway is so steep that the bottom of the car is very close to the ground. I could use the rhino ramps on a flat floor but then I'd need to jack the front. I was trying to be clever and use the slope but... :-)

[friggens]

Thank you for the amusement!!! Be grateful it was not gasoline!! My fumblings had me holding the outlet of the tank while trying to adjust the can and funnel with the other while I watched the puddle spread across my hot drop cord. I learned its very important to get that all cleaned up before my wife came home and that I was lucky to be alive.

All in the past - you are now officially a better mechanic than you were. But mostly you are suffering the effects of a move. That is always the worst. The best is yet to come - carry on!! Cheers - Mike

[Gumby]

Greg, This sounds like my very first 911 oil change experience " a standard catch pan that will take 10+ gallons in 3 seconds"
I used my normal oil catch pan.. much smaller...pulled the plug.... you cannot stop the oil fast enough when it breaches the capacity normal pan..
oh the humanity!