The Story of the Poor Loser and the Greedy Inlander

[Frank Beck]

Once upon a time there was a villager in the Empire who was selling a 914. We'll call him "Charlie". This man had a beautiful wife and a 914-6 engine. One day he thought “I’m weary and my eyesight is weak, instead of restoring this load of crap I’m going to put it on Craigslist and sell it for $8,000 so I can buy my wife something special. Like beer, a new cassette player, jewelry, or breast augmentation.”

Not two hours after the ad was placed people started calling. And texting. And emailing. From all over the world! Now this man was nobody’s fool and realized that maybe he had priced his load of crap too low. It soon became apparent to the villager that he should talk to as many callers as possible to see what they had to say before he committed to a Buy It Now price. One person realized that he was no longer in the running to purchase the load of crap for $8,000 and blurted out “You DO KNOW you have a 1967 911S engine there and it’s worth far more than what you’re asking for it!” Since he couldn’t buy it he figured “The SOB who buys this is going to pay through the nose. I’m going to teach some early Porsche 911S owners a lesson or two.”

The villager decided at that point to accept “offers”. When one of the callers told him he wasn’t the auction type the villager said “This is not an auction”. The short, old, obnoxious caller said “Of course it is and you’re no longer satisfied with your original contracted asking price. You’re holding an auction.” The villager, frustrated and obviously pissed, said “Do you want to buy this or are you just busting my chops?” The short, old, obnoxious Porsche artifacts collector said “The latter and I’m not your guy”.

The moral of the story: Sour grapes always produce bad whine.